Sat Mar 21, 2009, the day my popo left this earthly world to be home with the Lord, after battling the development of cancer cells into her once healthy, strong and lively body.

For a moment after her passing, I was saddened not to be able to be there to say good-bye at her last moments. However, my chance was created when my uncle ask if I am able to give an Eulogy for popo. So although I was not able to say what I want to her ears before she went home, I am able get it out of my chest to say what I want and I know she is able to hear it from Heaven.

Eulogy for Popo

I am the eldest granddaughter. When I was asked to give this Eulogy, my feelings were halved. Half of me, I felt really privileged to be given a chance to express my love and what a great woman my grandmother was. Another half of me was afraid that my choice of words are inadequate to really express the woman my grandmother really was, the fullness of life she led, the circle of influence she had, the kindness and love she has extended, the numerous lives she has touched and impacted.

I address my grandmother as “popo”. But she has been more than a grandmother to me. I have been in her care and under her nurture since I was a baby.

She was my mentor. She taught me to be a lady, how to sit and cross my legs. She taught me how to tell time, through an old alarm clock. She made sure I did my homework before I play. I remembered there was at time whilst I did my homework in a room with the door closed so I wont get distracted, and I got lazy and started walking around, thinking she wouldn’t know what I was doing. I have not even finished that thought before I heard her voice from outside telling me not to walk around and finish my homework! For that moment I was amazed how my popo can see through doors! It was only later then I realized she saw my shadows from the gap of the door.

She was my storyteller and life inspirer. She loved to tell us stories, of her life before and after marriage, and the hardships she experienced when they 1st came to Singapore and when we were poor as a family. Through all these and more, I see her as a woman of great strength and positiveness. Hardly anything will ever bring her down or crush her spirit.

She was my provider. I remembered it was always the aroma of coffee and tea that woke my up in the morning was I was living with her. She is the 1st to wake up, whilst everybody is still asleep, to make sure once everyone is up, to have a good breakfast before they went off for work, and for me, to school. She will then make sure the house is clean, laundry is done, and enough food is cooked for dinner for all of us when we came home. At night, she is the last to sleep.

I believe if she is still around and this has been another event, she will be the one busiest, working to make sure everyone is being attended to and is comfortable.

I remembered when I moved back to live with my parents, she teared. She didn’t tell me personally but it was only after I heard that she treats me like her youngest daughter, I realized how much she loved me. And I know her love extends beyond me.

I thank God that she came to know the Lord 18 years ago, and her zeal for life has been even more amazing! She has been to more mission trips than I have! Her love does not stop within the family, but to the unchurched! Before she leaves for a mission trip, she will share with us where she is going and who she will be reaching out to, and you can see the excitement in her eyes. When she is back she will tell us of her adventures and you can see the passion in her eyes as she tells us of the next planned mission trip they may have.

I remembered there was once before she knew the Lord, I was a kid at the dining table giving thanks for the food. She jokingly told me the food was bought and cooked by her so I should say thank you to her instead of God.

But after she came to know the Lord, she gave thanks more than anybody else. She mentioned she was thankful to have a wonderful family, wonderful sons, wonderful grandchildren. I would like to say in contraversion, that I am the one who is truely blessed, to have a grandmother like her.

I personally believed she has been a great wife, mother and without a doubt the best popo I can ever asked for. She was the pillar and gel of this family.

I know she will be badly missed by all who have been touched by her life. Her friends, grandchildren, children and husband.

She seldom like to take photos, but I know we will always remember her smile, especially the sparkle in her eyes.

I thank God that she has left her bodily suffering and is now in heavenly paradise, without pain, tears or fears.

I just really want to take this opportunity to say out loud, "Popo, I love you..."

Your Strength Inspires
Your Positiveness Motivates
Your Values Instils
I Am, because You Are
Popo, I love you





Dear Popo, I will miss you. I know you are happily in Jesus Christ arms now. Love you. Le Jing

Dear Popo, I love you :) I know you're enjoying yourself with Abba Daddy now :D :D We'll meet again another day! With love, Le Ying

Dear Popo, I will miss you. Loving you always. Sophia

Dear Poh Poh, we will miss you dearly. Love Samuel

Dearest Poh Poh, may your soul rest in peace with our Father.

Dear Poh Poh, I know you're up in heave now, and till we meet again one day, I will keep you in my heart. Your grandson, Caleb

Dear Popo, You'll always be in our hearts. I love you. Jin Long

Dear Popo, I love you and will miss you dearly. Thank you very much. :D Jin Jyue

Dear Mother, I love you so much. Benjamin Wong

Labels: behind close doors, flashback, life's journey, reflections

cny, means spring cleaning, means we pack, means there are stuff which we will dig out, sorted to throw or keep... there are stuff which we pack, then there are stuff which are very interesting to pack. i bought 2 new tall cabinets, which allows me more space for categorizing - one for all dvds and cds, and the other for stuff which will bring me down memory lane, like photos, cards and letters.

packed all my photos, next comes cards and letters, which is kept in this drawer which i havent sorted out for the past 5 years. i know it will be interesting, but i didnt realise it will be THAT interesting. the photos already make me reminisce, the letters, does more than that.

as i sorted deeper into the drawer, i relived my life. cards from appreciated friends, lovely parents, and the best were those from my past 'lovers' (you know what i meant). sometimes we forget who we are and what we want to do. and as we read all those goals we penned when we were young, we were reminded of our zest and enthusiasm for life! we slowly allow the positive energy to seep out of us unknowingly as we grow and face obstacles in life, so all these encouraging words really bring that booster back!

its truely an interesting trip, i weeped i smiled i laughed

Labels: behind close doors, flashback, life's journey

as i sat down to evaluate how much of mine and other's friendships and relationships were formed, i cant help to wonder, is availability the key? no doubt psychologically we are first attracted to those similar or attractive to us, but much of the development lies to having time to discover more of each other. moving forward, you forge to a closer relationship, or realise there is not much futher to move on.

so in our rat race, are we inevitably only given the opportunity to develop relationships based on the compatability of time? so although there is someone who will forge a much better ralationship with you, because of time differences, this relationship will never come to existence?

Labels: behind close doors, reflections

if silence is golden... then to me now, sanity is diamond...

on the topic of gold - got news that gold's value is increasing. traded in some gold jewellery that i dont wear anymore. kept those with sentimental value though. mostly my childhood days and most or all gold pretties are from my popo.

whilst we are on this thread, usd is on a journey to devaluation. did a really quick plot and its on her all time low for the last 5 years and in these 3 months... not that i wanna think negatively on the us economy, but just for selfish benefits, usd devaluation is good in preparation for my nyc trip heh.

Labels: behind close doors, life's journey, reflections

haven't this been the issue for most gals... as our wardrobe of clothes increases, the more pressing the statement is screaming out! "i have nothing to wear!" our parents, and the statement's worst enemy, our boyfriends, look at us in bewilderment, and with the right accompanied facial expression that will drive us to our exasperation, ask rhetorically "you have nothing to wear?!"

factually we agree, it's a fact, we have lots of clothes, but is is also a fact, we have nothing to wear! come to think of it, the scene likens to our social environment, we may be surrounded by boys/men, but there are no datable ones! at certain juncture of our lives (especially at this), my gal pals and i have to agree that, somehow we have outgrown the boys of our past, but not quite yet grown into the men of our future (so well quoted by carrie bradshaw). or... we did just that, but we are just surrounded by boys?

Labels: behind close doors, life's journey

found time finally to sit and recollect again... so many going on in this 2 months! as the end of the year is approaching and with the thanksgiving season, there are things which i look back and wanna thank god for. things which i though i could not have gone through, the strength and support i acquired, the life lessons i experienced, the relationships formed, ...

this year's birthday is in no way personal! meaning its very publicised indeed! haha. although i might have been prepared and geared up that there may be a quick happy birthday singing session (cos that day is truely a bodily splitting experience for everybody), i dont expect anything out of the ordinary. however once at expo, the business kinda went into an auto mode and it slipped out of my mind completely. then, whilst addressing the choir, saw bb at the corner of my eye, thought he may have something to say since he is here, handed the time over to him, and walked away... only to see a weird expression on jus's face. after i enquired if anything is wrong (there cant be any major screw up that day!), continued my way away... when a whole choir broke out in unison the popular happy birthday song behind my back. haha. "oh ya i am supposed to expect this... but i forgot and now i am unprepared!" haha. so... with ssssoooo many pairs of eyes looking at me, i was wondering what was i supposed to say beside 'thank you'. hee.

then, the dinner with parents at night at aunt jenny's place, the whole restaurant celebrated my birthday and she got the restaurant to play and presented my favourite flaming baked alaska! didnt expect one but aunt jenny gave me a hug!

thinking that was the end of my birthday... come and goes in a flash... came along wednesday... i had an interview with robert half, with surprising information, met d for lunch, bought ama's present, went along to choir practice. thought the interview was the highlight of the day, until the end of practice, i hop on stage for the annoucement, jace came along to take over the dressing, and... instead of telling the choir what to wear, they broke out in a birthday song for me! argh! not prepared again! and to think i actually have alot of thoughts for this year and told myself to be prepared in case anyone question me, especially in the area of relationship, and especially if bel is the one asking! i have no chance to say! haha. so, as i learnt in psych, practice indeed does not make perfect! heh.

thank you for a wonderful birthday!

Labels: behind close doors, flashback, genesis, life's journey, some happening

been a very transistional year indeed. angie was looking to 2008, which made me thinking if that is what i should be looking forward to. not so much which it means time is really going forward and i am not establishing much although it has truely been a huge milestone of my life. i must say its something i have been working towards for the last 5years until i made a compromise. so the non-fulfillment of my compromise must have been god's way of making a point that we are not compromisers but overcomers.

this year's birthday, i am kinda expecting, will be very different. my approach to it is already very different. for the 1st, i posed very bold questions to my church friends on what they are getting for me! haha. i dont do that! but since the age of technology and the closer merge to church life expereiences, both sides of my friends may have understood what i desire and i am kinda afraid they will get me the same presents!! haha. that is a big no-no!

but no worries, jo texted me in the morning and suggested we go present shopping on fri. ha! its a good opportunity to shop for al present too!

guess the last thing i want happened before i step into 2008 is to land a desireable job which i can make good use of my talents in.

Labels: behind close doors, life's journey

today seems like a weekday cos nobody is at home! heh. aunt fong, tessa, clint and baby are back for a visit from perth and mommy has been at ah po's. not sure what they have on today but i have the home to myself! heh. was speaking to biao jie the other day and wondering if we should at least show face since we dont always meet.

on a 'laze' mode today since i woke up... was awaken by a call from a gloria who turned up at 828am and found nobody there! ha.

today was supposed to be "feed D's soul" day but on 2nd thoughts didnt really want to do k cause of the cost ;p well lets see as no arrangements has been made. everybody maybe on a laze mode today since choir is off duty this weekend. hee.

mag initiated coffee last night which i very much would also like to meet up with her. have a feeling she would suggest selegie and i am right on spot! ha.

Labels: behind close doors, life's journey

in the midst of happy chatter, the usual alert for an incoming sms was within my hearing range. didnt attend to it until the conversation came to a slight halt when we caught our breathes amongst laughter and lame jokes, brought to us mainly by bb. ha.

opened my inbox, read the start of the message concurrently with the name of the sender, it wasnt the name but the start of the message that tunnels my attention to read on, with vivid images flashing up to form a storyboard of the message. for a moment, where and what was happening around me blacked out, but was quickly pulled back into reality when the laughters started again.

all was well until the next halt, when i wanted to allow the facts to sink in, that i picked my mobile to read the text again. this was when i was musing over the message that d asked me what i was thinking. heh, dont ask! haha tears control centre working hard!

this is in loving reminiscence to my babies, now with just lone hamburger, both always dear & close to my heart

Labels: behind close doors, flashback, life's journey, some happening

has been a very busy 3 weeks but it has been fulfilling. the performance on handels was put up in a mere 2 weeks! forgotten the camera so wasnt able to video but some of the moments was captured on peter's and lawerence's cameras.

Labels: behind close doors, flashback, life's journey, some happening

i have had this drilling noise for the past 2 days and today was much worst than yerterday!! it was periodically and today was continuous since like 10am?! thank god i am done with my paper else this will definately drive me crazy! this brought back to my rememberance about an incident when i am having an exam, not sure which home i was in, and the neighbour is having their renovation! i tell you, i almost thought i am going crazy and that instead of the drill to the wall, its in my head! and i seriously have this drilling imbedded in my brain that even after it stopped, i can still 'hear' it!! gosh!

now i cant even hear my music from my lappie...

ok cool... patience... understanding... acceptance...

Labels: behind close doors, flashback, life's journey, some happening

finally gotta meet up w AL! think the last time we met up was...... ... ... i cant remember! heh. but its good to see her again. didnt get a chance to catch up much cos i wasnt there for dinner with fio jude & ah bao. apparently the steamboat they had was good. i checked the website, indeed looks good, though i wasnt a fan of steamboat.

we hang out more at AL's favourite and we met really friendly people, and then there is this one weird 'aussie' man. he seems proud to be one cos he asked if i have met an aussie man. initially i was like, you think i am not globalised or you are just kidding me. then he say 'i am an australian and i am very hungry'... ya i can see that with your hands all over our food. i have met better aussie men!! not to be mean, but he brings shame to his country, and 'man'kind. and he tried to act friendly with us. oh save it. ya i can voice out here, but i was telling fio, that is the problem with us, we complain, but dont act. haha. i guess if its an outspoken 'ang moh' gal, she probably would have gave him her piece of mind! (applies to outspoken 'asian' too) hehehe

anyways, it seems to be a pretty short time before our next meet up, cos its the reason of my birthday. like i titled, birthday = meet up, thank god for birthdays, and friends.

Labels: behind close doors, life's journey, some happening, watering hole

wow this break i took was pretty long considering i update so many of my backdated logs!! ok back to my essays... am i looking forward to sentosa tomorrow or will i regret on thu??

Labels: behind close doors

Labels: behind close doors, some happening, taste buddies, watering hole

on the journey back from newton, i was switching from auto drive to alert drive mode, and ultimately i consciously chose to stay alert. nearing my favourite s-course towards home, i got suspicious of a car infront that turned right, all because i somehow spotted it kinda turned too much into the bend. initially i thought the driver was just unfamiliar with the road conditions. however as i turn into the bend behind him, he picked up speed real quick! ok so my guess is he knows the s-course and wanna take it too, but he probably miss something just now.

too fast were my thoughts, and subconsciously i thank god i still choose to stay a safe distance behind him, and not choose to overtake him. he was either not sure of how to coordinate his car's corner taking ability and speed, or there is something seriously off with his consciousness. it was only at the 1st curve that he brought his right to the curb, which send his car rebounding to the left. at least he is able to control his braking and sway his car back to right, and he just continue on, not slowing down, until at the traffic stop, behind a van.

my leg was already on the brake, ready to take defensive actions whilst i witness his mishap. and i stopped quite a distance behind him in case he does something silly again. he got off to check his car, smiling and weird. suspect drink driving instead of tiredness. he looked and me, still smiling, must have known i was behind and witness the whole event.

just as he was getting back into his driver's seat, the light turned green and i chose to step on it and move off from the right lane. dont want to be near this guy! my glances at the rear mirror, ready to steer clear him, incase he catches up and nears me.

Labels: behind close doors, life's journey

am reseaching on memories and truely agree that we are our memories. our memories formed who we are, and we will have lose our identity without our memories. this blog is my memory, for all the love ones who helped form or still forming ...

this is to who i am, and will be ...

Labels: behind close doors, reflections

kumar the queen is the special for the day, at the esplanade, and silly as i am, to keep assuming the play starts 330, to leave expo only at 230. i still have the cheek to reply fio when she sms she is gonna be late that i will be 'slightly' late and will arrive at 315. she was like, the play starts 3... i was like... so, i stepped on the accelerator!!

wow, i arrived like 3 but of cos the door was already closed and the play has started. there were so many that were late too, and they opened the doors at an appropriate time for the latecomers, i went in, but we were sitting in between and i didnt wanna do the 'excuse me, i am sorry' motion, which i am not sure for how many people till i get to my seat. so, i chose to leave the hall and watch the tv till the interval, only to find out there is not one!! darn! fine! i will just watch the tv all the way. i decided, and sat myself comfortably on the sofa. another friendly attendance came to me, kept encouraging me to go in and watch for the nice customes and such. i felt so obligated, i obliged.

surprisingly, i only need to do the 'excuse me, i am sorry' speech to say like 4 persons and i saw an empty seat, and fio's friendly hand motioning me to sit. phew. thank god i finally chose to go in.

Labels: behind close doors, some happening

god has made a way! yay! praise god! i passed my effective communication course! happy happy as a bird am i... lala la lala.

totally different reaction from last night huh. well not surprising as i truely scrimp answering q2 within like the last 10mins! i half expected a fail when i tear open the envelope. dont like receiving mails from sim, cos everytime i open the mail is causing me anxiety! haha. the last time was awaiting admission result, and now is the result for an unfinished exam. hee

Labels: behind close doors

funnie that my dream last night was predominated by a cute korean lookg guy... couldnt recognise him from anywhere... heh if only i could do a good skethch, he may well be my 'dream guy', literally. haha

Labels: behind close doors

feeling really nervous rite now as i got to learn from james that the results for cor100 is out. really dont have the confidence... cant check it on the net so have to wait for the mail. heart thumping... guess when the mail is in my hand, my andreline will be higher than when i am doing thrill driving...

Labels: behind close doors

thoughts are penned here
memories are traced here
the future is envisioned here

live'd' life... am still
loved and lost...will still

if you think like you've always thought,

you'll get what you've always 'got'.

1 1a
apple iBook!!
mini makeup box
coco whip body wash
haagen-dazs chocolate lowfat sorbet
choc snow ice!
lookg for dark shiroi koibito here

cafe del mar
b a r f l y ~
decadence dark indulgences
ccup luxury gourmet cupcakes
xangosteen
splatter::beautiful original artwork
art for the masses

the spanish experience - zaragoza - the arrival
departures
Popo I Love You
the one when she is being saboed
journey down memory lane...
is availability all in a relationship?
sanity...
wardrobe full of clothes... nothing to wear
who's my satc character?
there is a time

19 August 2007
26 August 2007
2 September 2007
9 September 2007
16 September 2007
23 September 2007
30 September 2007
7 October 2007
14 October 2007
21 October 2007
28 October 2007
4 November 2007
11 November 2007
18 November 2007
25 November 2007
9 December 2007
13 January 2008
20 January 2008
27 January 2008
13 April 2008
22 March 2009
5 April 2009
6 September 2009

designer | kathleen
image | 00Velvet00Dreams00